Forgotten words
I came across this post I apparently forgot to finish writing. It was titled, "People who make a Difference." I've been in Washington for almost 2 weeks and out of New Zealand for over 2 months. Finding these forgotten words was a cool reminder of how I was feeling in June and why I'm here now.
I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately, as I tend to do. I've been thinking over what it would be like to leave Nelson, who I would say goodbye to and what I would be thinking while I left. I've imagined the last conversations I'll have with the important people I've met and the final views of the city I've loved. When I picture these moments and how I will feel I start to freeze. It starts at my diaphragm and moves down to my toes and up in to my cheeks.
Before you read, check out this super cool picture from the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone
I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately, as I tend to do. I've been thinking over what it would be like to leave Nelson, who I would say goodbye to and what I would be thinking while I left. I've imagined the last conversations I'll have with the important people I've met and the final views of the city I've loved. When I picture these moments and how I will feel I start to freeze. It starts at my diaphragm and moves down to my toes and up in to my cheeks.
It feels like getting a hug from every person who's impacted me while simultaneously watching them disappear in to memory. I hold in my chest the warmth their kindness has given me, but know I will fade in to a figure of the past. I miss this place intensely and I haven't gone yet.
I'll miss sitting in a burger king stealing internet to write these posts. I'll miss going to work at 6am to wash kegs and ending an afternoon shift with a cold beer and warm conversation. I'll miss cleaning for my friend who has been a compassionate and steady listener. I'll miss sitting in the lobby of a hostel learning Japanese from my good friend, and I'll miss sitting around a table of foreigners all smoking their expensive cigarettes while we converse about life abroad. Lonely hikes up hidden mountains on my days off are something I hope I can replicate somewhere else, but hearing someone say "sweet as" is a luxury only meant for kiwis.
No, I don't want to leave, but I know I can't stay.
By the way, this was my final view of Nelson as I left:
I'll miss sitting in a burger king stealing internet to write these posts. I'll miss going to work at 6am to wash kegs and ending an afternoon shift with a cold beer and warm conversation. I'll miss cleaning for my friend who has been a compassionate and steady listener. I'll miss sitting in the lobby of a hostel learning Japanese from my good friend, and I'll miss sitting around a table of foreigners all smoking their expensive cigarettes while we converse about life abroad. Lonely hikes up hidden mountains on my days off are something I hope I can replicate somewhere else, but hearing someone say "sweet as" is a luxury only meant for kiwis.
No, I don't want to leave, but I know I can't stay.
By the way, this was my final view of Nelson as I left:
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