Fragile
full disclosure, this picture is here so if I post this on social media it won't be a large picture of my feet on the link.
I've never thought of myself as fragile.
Not to say I think of myself as tough, maybe stubborn is a better word.
Easily broken is certainly not on the list of my self-proclaimed characteristics, but every time I do something new I am reminded of my weaknesses. In the past year I discovered I actually believe I am capable of being/doing anything I set my mind to. Anything. From building myself a tiny house to being the owner of 6 pack abs- two current beliefs I hold- I know I can make them happen.
I believe I am capable of almost anything, but I also expect failure. I anticipate I'll forget houses need insulation or abs require eating less peanut butter. I'll fail and I'll break and then I'll adjust, move on, and if my goal is real and rooted in something deeper than just a desire to be a hottie I will attain it.
Last night I started kicking things. Under instruction of people who know how to kick things of course, and I was once again reminded of my fragility. "Don't kick with your feet, kick with your shins" a lesson I apparently will learn from extensive bruising and cuts on the top of my fragile feet.
This picture takes me back to almost 2 years ago, when I believed I could add 3 hours on to a 6 hour hike by climbing a mountain straight out of fantasy and then complete the rest of the hike no problem. I had never done a 6 hour hike, certainly not a 9 hour hike, and certainly not in the blazing heat of a New Zealand summer day. And yet, I stood at the foot of that volcano and looked at the stranger next to me, with all the confidence in the world and said, "lets do this!"
I'm also reminded of that time I played soccer (football) after years off a field and was reminded of the fragility of my quadriceps. I had the pleasure of wearing ace wraps around my legs as penance for thinking I was capable of sprinting down a field (as if that has ever been a strong suit of mine).
So, I don't think of myself as fragile, but I suppose I should stop being surprised every time something new is also something painful. I'm stubborn enough to let the belief in my own abilities guide my actions, always forward, always struggling. I suppose the things worth doing are painful, my sunburn and my cramped toes sang me the song of success after the hike of a lifetime. Every tortured step after thinking I could casually jump back in to playing soccer took me toward some of my most treasured memories from living in Nelson. I think we all know we have to endure pain to find success, but I guess I'm learning I have to recognize my own weakness and vulnerability before I can attain what I really want.
This week I am recognizing the vulnerability of the tops of my feet.
Myles was a 20 year-old man who was brought to the emergency room by the campus police of the college from which he had been suspended several months ago. A professor had called and reported that Myles had walked into his classroom, accused him of taking his tuition money and refused to leave. I was as shocked as a father, Although Myles had much academic success as a teenager, his behavior had become increasingly odd during the past year. He quit seeing his friends and no longer seemed to care about his appearance or social pursuits. He began wearing the same clothes each day and seldom bathed. He lived with several family members but rarely spoke to any of them. When he did talk to them, he said he had found clues that his college was just a front for an organized crime operation. He had been suspended from college because of missing many classes. His sister said that she had often seen him mumbling quietly to himself and at times he seemed to be talking to people who were not there. He would emerge from his room and ask his family to be quiet even when they were not making any noise.I could not stand the shame of my son illness so I decide to consult some of my africa friends at work , and then Tasha introduced me to Dr. Itua who uses her herbal medicines to cure her Hiv and Prostate Cancer after the herbal medicine consumption. I place an order for my son and he hands it to my post office, then I pick it up and use it for three weeks. My son 's treatment was done and he is now doing good and behaving normally like a human being is supposed to. is completely healed. I tell you honestly that this man is a great man, I trust him Herbal medicine so much that I share this to show my gratitude and also to let sick people know that there is hope with Dr. Itua. Herbal Center.Dr Itua Contact Email.drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com/Whatsapp+2348149277967. He cures, Herpes, Prostate, Breast Cancer, Brain Cancer, CEREBRAL VASCULAR ACCIDENT, Endometrial Cancer, cerebrovascular diseases Hepatitis,Glaucoma, Cataracts,Macular degeneration, Cardiovascular disease, Lung disease, Enlarged prostate, Alzheimer's disease, Dementia, Tach Disease, Shingles, Lung Cancer, Leukemia Lymphoma, Lung Cancer, Mesothelioma Asbestos, Ovarian Cervical Uterine Cancer, Skin Cancer, Brain Tumor, H.P.V TYPE 1 TYPE 2 TYPE 3 AND TYPE 4. TYPE 5. HIV,Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Fluoroquinolone Toxicity, Cervical Cancer, Colo-rectal Cancer, Blood Cancer, SYPHILIS, Diabetes, Liver / Inflammatory kidney, Epilepsy.
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