A Year in the Dark

When I started writing this blog I wanted everyone who read it to feel like their life was extraordinary, no matter their circumstances, location, or past. One of the few aspects left unchanged by the ebb and flow of my life is this hope. I hope you love your life, and I hope when I talk about loving my life, you love yours more.

Here is a Bison

My life in the dark is no metaphor for painful or difficult times. I thrive between the hours of 5pm and 8am. This is why I fall asleep when we hang out, and why I yawn on the phone. This is why I struggle through conversations and, this feels like an excuse but, it might be why I don't pursue those conversations. I've lost some part of myself in this sleepy existence. Don't fear for me though, what I have lost in communication I have gained in experience, friendship, laughter, and adventure. The job alone could have been enough. A year in the darkness of this ER could have been enough. The honesty of homelessness, the vulnerability of disease, and the silence of fear could have satiated my soul's need to be challenged. But, why would God stop at "enough"?

Here are some heroes

He doesn't want my heart to just experience "enough". He knows my heart will not be satisfied by comfort or baseline. So I've been given more. My days, when not wrapped in sleep, are full of friends who challenge and inspire me. My nights are characterized by tests of my skill, knowledge, and determination. My travels are to places near and far. My conversations are with strangers, acquaintances, fast friends, and lifers. I have more than enough, and yet there is still more to come.

Since you started reading these rambled thoughts three short years ago I have been living from one adventure to the next. One boarding pass, road trip, nightshift, pool day, or hike to the next. I've run toward opportunity after opportunity excited to discover what lies within, and there is no end to the supply.

Here is an icy cliff

I love waking up to my life every morning, I am relieved to open my eyes from a day of dreamless sleep to discover I am still myself. I love my days alone, I live for these moments when I'm free to stop paying attention. And I am sharpened by my nights when everything calls for it.

I started writing this post with the hope I would stumble upon some hidden wisdom, but I guess today I just needed to share. I want to share how honored I am to live this life. I'm honored you have been a part of it, and I am overjoyed you continue to share in it. Thank you for helping me live better, I hope I have, at some point, helped you too.