Twenty-five

Twenty-five began on a windy walk in Iceland

Twenty-five was a year furtively moving through back corridors of my consciousness, 

stopping on occasion to plant an impression.

When I take a moment to focus my attentions I cannot deny twenty-five sowed many seeds of varying depth and significance.

 In the spring I saw the broadway show I'd obsessed over,

 took a real vacation in Mexico,

 and built friendships on the way to hikes, lakes,
tattoo parlors, and one Las Vegas In-and-Out Burger.

I made a new pal, and I gave her a name. 

A year ripe with adventure, wrought with difficult and vulnerable conversations, overgrown with love and loss. Never before have I felt the weight of an annum so heavily on my chest. The fatigue and weary mind aren't simply results of third-shift sleeping patterns. These qualities follow a year well-lived. A year bursting with brave honesty, fear, doubt, depth, new heights, unrelenting sadness and equally persistent joy.

 The summer of my twenty-five filled up with road-trips, front porch heart to hearts,

and another adventure in Costa Rica.

I spent a lot of time choosing myself and what I wanted in an effort to discover what those actually are. Though selfish they may seem I wouldn't change my decisions, as they have brought me to these pivotal moments of reflection. Some reflections I'd rather not admit to seeing, while most spark that kind of joy found only in memories impossible to capture on camera.

A celebration of my sister in Key West,

 a purposeful mission to Myanmar, 

and a soul vacation to Germany and Austria led me through a fall not soon to be forgotten.

I've had a wild year. 25 taught me to practice silent reflection when happiness, or fulfillment grace my soul. In the same year a gentle thunder ushered in slow rolling clouds filled with steady streams of heavy realities. I found myself in unfamiliar and frustrating mindsets all too often. Then, amidst those frustrations, I was presented with evidence of favor placed over me, and compassion of the people who call me friend.

Winter was for kindred spirits, a beautiful niece made dreams a reality.

Finally, a new brother-in-law brought even more wholeness to our family.

Truly, 25 was a year of vivid crimson, sunflower-yellow, deep blues, and refreshing green. 

25 saw me safely to and from 6 different countries and even more states.  Never missing a flight, always greeted with love and understanding for my perpetual fatigue. 

I grew in ways I didn't know I could with people I didn't know I needed.

25 gifted me deeper friendships and opportunities for whimsy in my every day. 25 taught me a lot, a lot about myself, about other's. 25 left me a different person. Subdued in many ways, bold in a few others. I witnessed the dance of competing emotions more clearly and participated more frequently. 25 has been hard, it would be dishonest to tell you otherwise. What a blessing to be greeted with difficulty and gifted the tools to improve upon it. 26 is beginning with hope and anticipation. In true "Lauren" fashion, 26 is beginning with adventure.