Thursday, February 18, 2016

When the tide goes out

I possess what I sometimes believe to be a rare skill of looking at a situation and seeing most of the possible outcomes. Some call this pessimistic, I call it realistic. I always hope for the magic, but I know there is a possibility the mundane lives somewhere in my plans. I am well aware I will likely run in to it's big boring face and have no choice but to accept the call to live quietly for a little while.

I suspect this is a common pattern. The magic doesn't just suddenly disappear, it slowly fades, ebbing and flowing, until you're standing on vaguely moist ocean floor wondering when the tide will come back in.

When you start it's easy to make your experience an adventure. Everything is an adventure at the beginning. Everything is newer, greener, bigger, better, and stranger than what you just left. You're riding the waves, swimming out further than you should, and using up all your energy treading water before you realise what was once up to your earlobes is now to your shoulders, then stomach, now waist, and soon you look down and see you missed that one spot shaving on the back of your left ankle.

Look a picture!

There is a book called Wherever You Go, There You Are. I have not read it, I probably should since I'm referring to it, but really I just like the title. I imagine the book says some variation of what I'm about to share, but in any case, please remember I have in fact not read the book. This is strictly title talk. This is all also my opinion, and you should know by now I am no scholar.

Moving doesn't change your life. People change your life. Insights, experiences, conversations, comfort zone relocation, these things change your life. Moving to a new city, state, country, continent, this does not change you. Because when you show up in this new world you are the same you. You are just as adventurous, spontaneous, boring, loud, sad, obnoxious, or ridiculous as you were when you left your former home. Your priorities are the same, your scars are the same, your baggage weighs the same whether it's measured in kilos or lbs.

I knew this, I know this. I left being very realistic about how I might feel moving to a different country. I knew I would be the same person in a situation I could only roughly sketch out in my mind.  So now here I am, I go to bed before 9pm. Yes, i said before. I wake up around 6:30 and do the same thing every day. I want a job, and to sleep in the same bed for a month. I want to make a friend. I want to make some money. I want to learn something new. I brought my priorities to Nelson, NZ. As it turns out my priorities look a lot like the mundane. I like the mundane sometimes though. I miss balancing 3 jobs and school and a quiet social life. I miss how boringly predictably fun it was.

I'm in Nelson New Zealand and here I am. Same old me. taking some time to do the same old things I was doing before.

And another one!

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